Make Sure You Know What You Really Want

 

Before you can even begin the process of planning your negotiation, you must stop for a moment and think about what it is that YOU really want. There are a lot of things to consider when you enter into a negotiation -- position and interests, needs, and the issues that are involved with all of that. However, there is nothing more important to factor into the process of getting ready to negotiation than this one simple component: figure out what it is that you really WANT! (As well as what you don’t want.) Even kids understand this simple idea:

Bobby: Hey, Mikey, I just got a bunch of new Topps baseball cards. There are some really awesome cards in here. I will trade you all of them for that old Harmon Killebrew card your uncle gave you.

Mikey: Uh ?. I’m not so sure about that, Bobby. I think that Killebrew guy may be somebody famous. I better ask my dad what he thinks, first.

Bobby: Oh, rats!

Narrator: Well, Mikey is pretty sharp for his age. Even he knows that he doesn’t want to give away a classic card for ones that might be full of losers. How can you make sure that you get what you want?

The best way to figure this out is to follow the three-step process we call Wish – Aspiration – Bottom Line. It’s really pretty simple to understand.

Your WISH is the best result you can imagine, the highest desirable result that would satisfy you. Often the opening offer in a negotiation comes at the wish level. You would be ecstatic if you got your wish – and sometimes you do! But identifying your WISH level is often used to set up the ASPIRATION phase.

Your ASPIRATION level is the level you expect to achieve in a negotiation – it is what you are really going after. This is a very important concept, so listen carefully. The strategy behind win-win negotiations involves high aspiration levels with some degree of flexibility. Set your aspiration level high when you start a negotiation, and assume that the other party is doing the same. Research shows that:

1. High aspiration levels combined with high initial demands lead to greater successes. It is almost impossible, practically and psychologically, to achieve more than the aspiration level you set for yourself. That’s just common sense. It is rare indeed that you get MORE than you ask for. Be sure you ask for enough to start with.

2. In addition, a high initial demand will frequently lower the other party's aspiration. Once they become aware of what you are expecting, they may voluntarily adjust their expectations and demands to a lower level.

3. Your successes and failures during a negotiation could cause you to shift your aspirations. It is important to remain flexible as you gain more information and insights as the negotiation moves along.

Be willing to adjust your aspiration level. If you discover that yours is clearly too high for

the other party, reassess the situation. If the other side makes the first offer, you will find out

their aspirations and can adjust yours accordingly. You might even discover that it is possible to raise your aspirations. If you make the first offer, you may be able to lower the other side's aspirations.

Finally, there is always the Bottom Line. This is the very least you can live with, the point where you're willing to walk away. Beneath this point, "no deal" is better than a settlement. Before you set your bottom line in concrete, think what would happen if the other party failed to get above it. Are you really prepared to walk? What are the penalties of "no deal"? Are there other options besides caving in? If this situation comes up, can you gain some time for reconsideration? It is probably just as important to go into a negotiation knowing your bottom line as it is to know your aspiration. If you can decide in advance on the point at which you will walk away, you will have a source of real power for the negotiation process.

In the end, Win Win negotiation is always about compromise and trading enough concessions so that every party walks away feeling like their efforts were rewarded. However, if you don’t clearly settle in your mind what you really want and what you really don’t want before you ever get started, you are likely to walk away disappointed because you got less that you should have. 

 

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September Negotiation Quick Tip of the Month – Get Inside Their Shoes

One way to define a negotiation is to say that it is the process of giving the other party something they really want in exchange for something you really want. The idea is that what I give to them should be of comparatively low value to me, but have high value to them. However, before you can hope to pull of this brilliant exchange you must accomplish one important task: you must figure out what the other person really wants, and why. Too often during the negotiation process we focus on fighting for what we want. However, you can often save a lot of time and frustration by trying to understand the needs and goals and concerns of the other side. Once you have a clear picture of what is motivating them, it will be much easier to propose solutions and offer concessions that will get you both where you want to be.