Who is the world’s foremost authority on negotiations?
Could it be Roger Fisher, who co-authored Getting To Yes? The other writer, William Ury, of course, went on to write Getting Past No. Many people also like to refer to Sun Tzu, author of The Art of War. And then there’s Donald Trump, whose name is on the cover of The Art of the Deal. Who is the real expert?
In all honesty, we could probably ask ten people that question and get several different answers. However, plenty of smart and interesting people have said plenty of wise things that are applicable to negotiations… whether or not that is what they were talking about at the time. Here are some wise words to mull over with regard to nine things we should avoid when negotiating.
“If I had eight hours to chop down a tree, I’d spend six sharpening my axe.” – Abraham Lincoln
1. Don’t forget to prepare. Failing to plan means we’re planning to fail. We should go into every negotiation with established goals, a bottom line, and a BATNA (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement). Take some time to research the other party and brainstorm a few concessions that might make sense for each side. Write everything down! This not only keeps us from forgetting items, it prevents things like our bottom line becoming a moving target. We’re much more likely to stick to our parameters if we have them written down.
“Let us never negotiate out of fear; but let us never fear to negotiate.” – JFK
2. Don’t be afraid to ask. If we don’t ever ask for what we want, we won’t get it! Be specific, and aim high. Keep in mind that this is a negotiation – the other side is always going to try to work us down from wherever we start. It’s best to set the bar as high as we can manage to begin with.
“Life cannot subsist in society but by reciprocal concessions.” – Samuel Johnson
3. Don’t ever forget Quid Pro Quo. Never make concessions without getting something in return. Every concession should be an exchange, not a gift. Ideally, traded concessions should be of higher value to the recipient than cost to the conceder, so make an effort to find items that are worth a lot to the other party but aren’t too much trouble. By the same token, we can ask for items that would be valuable to us, but not high cost for them.
“When the final result is expected to be a compromise, it is often prudent to start from an extreme position.” – John Maynard Keynes
4. Don’t offer a range. Imagine a parent telling their child they have to eat three to five bites of salad before they can have dessert. What kid is going to eat four or five forkfuls of green stuff if they’ve been offered three as an acceptable option? Offering a range is tantamount to making a concession, and the other side will always take the end of the range that’s in their favor. If we’re comfortable with a range, we should start by offering the end point that’s most favorable to us – then we have some room to make concessions.
“It’s a well-known proposition that you know who’s going to win a negotiation; it’s he who pauses the longest.” – Robert Court
5. Don’t negotiate against yourself. If we make an offer and are met with silence, we must resist the impulse to make another offer. At this point we’re not negotiating with them anymore; we’re only undercutting ourselves if we speak. Silence can be a very effective tactic, but the key is not to get rattled by it and make concessions without meaning to. The first one to break the uncomfortable silence loses, so just wait for them to respond.
“In a negotiation under time pressure, it is the most patient negotiator who will get the best outcome.” – Don Moore, Haas School of Business
6. Don’t let the clock win. Negotiations can take a while, and they can be exhausting. If we let time pressure or fatigue get to us, though, we’ll end up giving away far more than we need to. Even seemingly innocuous comments like “I think we’re close now” can signal to the other party that we’re more interested in getting the deal closed than in getting the deal we want, and they may take it as an opportunity to press us for further concessions.
“During a negotiation, it would be wise not to take anything personally. If you leave personalities out of it, you will be able to see opportunities more objectively.” – Brian Koslow
7. Don’t get personal. Some negotiators will try to get under our skin with barbed comments, frustrating tactics, or personal criticism. Don’t get flustered, don’t get defensive, and don’t feed into the conflict. It will definitely cost us to lose our cool; staying calm will pay off in the end.
“It is not wisdom but authority that makes a law.” – Thomas Hobbes
8. Don’t negotiate with the wrong person. If we spend a lot of time in a negotiation only to discover that they don’t have the authority to sign off on a deal, it means we should have been talking to someone else all along. If the final decision-maker isn’t in the room, they may wreak havoc on our carefully-crafted agreement. If possible, we should make sure we are talking to someone with authority before the negotiation even begins.
“You must never try to make all the money that’s in a deal. Let the other fellow make some money too, because if you have a reputation for always making all the money, you won’t have many deals.” – J. Paul Getty
9. Don’t forget to work for the Win-Win. Unless we’re buying a used car in another city, chances are good that we’ll be working with this person or their company again. It’s worthwhile to craft a mutually satisfactory solution that leaves both sides happy, in order to build positive business partnerships and strong networks.
Baker Communications offers leading-edge Negotiations Training solutions that will help you address the goals and achieve the solutions addressed in this article. For more information about how your organization can achieve immediate and lasting behavior change that leads to bigger wins during negotiations in any setting, click here.
