ne·go·ti·ate – verb
How often do we think about that other meaning of the word “negotiate” – the one that has to do with traveling through difficult or dangerous places? When you’re sitting at the negotiating table, carefully considering your next offer, does it ever feel a bit like sailing a boat between treacherous rocks, or picking a path up a challenging mountain?
Negotiations are often stressful affairs – never more so than when you or your organization stand to lose a lot if things don’t go well. Being able to keep a cool head under pressure is crucial in these situations; so is having well-thought-out parameters for the negotiation. When the outcome is critical, we need to have a very clear idea of our primary goals and interests. We need to know what we can afford to concede and what is non-negotiable. We also need to define our BATNA and our bottom line.
What do we do, though, if the stress gets to be too much and we’re getting close to breaking or falling short of our goals? What do we do when the emotional strain starts to overwhelm our rational mind? How do we deal with stonewalling or conflict when there’s so much at stake?
Keep Calm and Carry On
It almost goes without saying that staying calm is critical. We can’t think clearly if we get frustrated or upset, and if we can’t think, we can’t negotiate the best deal. So the first step is to back away from the negotiation – at least figuratively. We need to separate the people from the problem and try to avoid taking anything personally. Maintain both a sense of detachment and a sense of humor.
If the oven gets too hot, though, we might actually have to leave the kitchen for a few minutes. Even the best negotiators get emotionally worn down after a while, and there’s nothing wrong with calling a recess and taking a breather – especially if it’s going to keep us from making a critical error.
Take One Step At A Time
If you’re trying to climb a mountain, you don’t run all the way to the peak in a single charge. Focus on taking one step, and then another; enjoy the view from this ridge before tackling the next. Trying to negotiate all of the issues at once, or too quickly, just gets overwhelming and messy. Unless we’re under extreme time pressure – which is best avoided – the most effective course is to address one issue at a time and give each one the attention it is due. Just focus on putting one foot in front of the other, and progress will happen faster than you might think.
Stay Flexible
Sometimes things happen that we don’t expect. If a storm blows up, we may have to pull our ship into port; if there are obstacles, we may have to go around them. The important thing isn’t that we keep going blindly, in a straight line, with no detours or deviations – it’s that we get back on course towards our final destination.
This is why interests are the important things in any negotiation – not positions. If both parties become entrenched in positional negotiations, nobody’s going anywhere. The key is to uncover the underlying interests of both parties. What are you, and they, really trying to achieve? Once this information becomes clear, we have a map we can use to reach a place where everyone will be satisfied – and that’s what win-win negotiations are all about!
Baker Communications offers leading-edge Negotiations Training solutions that will help you address the goals and achieve the solutions addressed in this article. For more information about how your organization can achieve immediate and lasting behavior change that leads to bigger wins during negotiations in any setting, click here.
